Minds I


I went to a stellar concert last night with some of my favorite people. It was a weird thing, almost like one of those times you feel like you’ve been on a long trip and you get home and can’t remember what day it is. You know what I mean? The only difference for me was, I haven’t gone anywhere. I just couldn’t figure out the days of the week. I thought the concert was Thursday, it was Tuesday. I thought I was going to Ak Chin Pavilion, I was going to Comerica. I thought I had seats, I had pit tickets.

A person with OCD might have slit their wrists after the first or second mix up, but this is my life. As much as I like to think I have it all under control, I am holding on by a thread most times. And, I’m okay with that.

The concert was for Pentatonix, a fantastic Acapella group that my son loves. I am amazed when watching them. I always wonder,….”What if someone has to sneeze in the middle of the song?” Or, “What if someone trips on their feet (or cape) and they lose their place in the song.” I mean, it’s all voices so,…wouldn’t that mess them all up? I literally stand with my breath held, waiting to see if they will make it through each song.

Okay, not really, I’m usually doing something close to dancing, or at least swaying, but the thought does go through my mind quite a bit.

It was my first “pit” concert. I don’t think I would ever be able to do an outdoor rock concert pit. If it had been super high, pumping energy, or if there had been a lot of alcohol or body odor…I wouldn’t bowed out. Literally. But, this was a clean venue with a large sampling of geeks. This became evident when Avi, the deep voice, wished us all a “Happy May the Fourth” day after the group had sung the Star Wars theme to enter the stage. Yeah, geeks rule the world.

I have this habit (curse) of always being behind someone’s head at these things. Seriously. Church, concerts, talks, weddings….if there is a large group of people sitting, I am right behind a head. It’s annoying. This is what happened last night. There were 800 people standing in the pit and I was somehow forced to stand right behind Jack and the his beanstalk of a neck/head. I kept shifting, trying not stand on my date (sister), and he just kept getting in my way.

I was just about to complain (aka slap his head ‘on purpose’) when I noticed a woman in front of me. I say ‘noticed’ because, I honestly had not seen her until this moment. I had to look down to see her. I had been looking up. She was…..short. The top of her head came to the average shoulder height of the collective group. She was standing right behind someone, and looking not at their freaky neck/head, but their BACK. She could see nothing. I stopped for a moment and pointed her out to my sister (who is taller than me). She had no noticed her either. We watched her for a while. She didn’t dance, or sway or crane her neck to see around people. She just stood there.

After a while, she brought out her phone and held it up to take a picture. I watched the phone and saw, yes, people’ backs. She couldn’t get a shot, even with her arm fully extended. She turned and pointed her phone towards the big screens on the side.  Here she was, in the pit, less than ten feet from the performers, and she was taking pictures of the big screen on the wall.

To say I was humbled would be appropriate, but add to that a bit of guilt. I have been known to poke fun at the “fun-sized” girls at work. I tease them about being short because at times I feel freakishly tall. I have feet that require shoes that double as arks for field mice and cats. I’m not HUGE, but I’ve never been considered short, petite, or ‘cute’. I guess I always thought it was okay to mock the short because I was a bit jealous.

True, I like being able to reach things like doorknobs, shelves, and clothes in my closet, but it’s hard to find a guy I can wear heels with and not be to tall. I like being able to ride adult size bikes, but shoes lose their ‘cuteness’ after they get to my size. It’s a bitter sweet thing. I know I’ve always been glad I was taller than shorter, but never more than last night.

I tried to think if there was a “politically correct “way to offer assistance to this woman. I wasn’t strong enough to offer a seat on my shoulders or even to life her up. I thought about offering to hold her phone a bit higher, but phones are like underwear…you don’t just offer to touch a stranger’s. I assured myself that I would have let her go in front of me if she had been behind me, but logic told me I never would have seen her. So, I did nothing until I suddenly realized she had disappeared.

Maybe she had never even been there. Maybe she had been a figment of my imagination, created to remind me of the blessing I’ve been given. Sent by my subconscious to slap some sense into me so I’d stop taunting the “little-women” at work. Maybe, I just need to learn to listen better and not rely on always being able to see things to enjoy them. Because I said so.

Photo credit: http://www.boredpanda.com

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