((((Insert awesome picture here))))))) google won’t play nice today.
Sometimes I think my mouth belongs to someone else. I find myself saying things that could not possibly have come from such a well mannered, reserved, sophisticated person such as myself. These are the times that I believe in aliens that take over our bodies and make us do things we can’t control. Just the other day, I was inhabited by such a creature that somehow made my mouth tell a new co worker that we were all looking at her boobs. Wow. I wasn’t sure what to do after those words erupted from my face so I made a beeline for the lounge and hid behind the cooshy couch until all was forgotten. Or, until the heat of that blasted room sent me off in search of other hiding placed. The new coworker is still speaking to me so either she forgot what I said or she likes the thought of us all looking at her rack. Whatever the case I escaped disaster by a mili-hair.
There are times when I say something completely brilliant and wonder where the words come from. At those times, I prefer to take credit and forget all about the possibly alien conspiracy. These flashes of brilliance are few and far between so I really have to relish them and tell the world over and over so I can try and make up for my normal day to day idiocity. Is that a word? Well,it is now. Deal.
My kids have said some pretty amazing things in their days. My oldest daughter started the trend when she complained about having chores at age five. “I’m not your sled!” she said to us, and the title was born. She has been our lovely sled ever since. I think it is ironic that I forget what people say the moment they say it, but if they say something completely profound in a stupid way, I will never forget it. My ‘friend’ has to take some ‘special behavior classes’ ordered by the court. They aren’t a big deal, and he can’t seem to remember the name of them so he lovingly calls them Psychotics awareness classes. Just that title alone makes me want to tag along. Think of all the book fodder I could glean from a group like that! I’d probably type my fingers right off my hands and have to start pecking the keyboard with my nose. Bruised, bloodied, and fingerless, I would emerge like a conquering hero with a best seller in toe. Yes,I mean ‘toe.’ I’d have to carry my laptop with something……cause I said so.
Photo credit: Goes to no one because all the amazing pictures I found and wanted to share would not let me copy them. Even though I give credit every time. Poop on them all. See if I care. (waaahh!)