Summer has arrived and with it the need to be wet. In Florida, this was not a problem. Just walking out the front door would cause a person to be drenched. Okay, so not a good wet, but still….we were perpetually ‘wet.’ Here in the desert of Arizona, getting wet isn’t quite as easy and much more essential for survival.
We have invested in a season pass to the local water park. It is full of different water activities like a big wave pool (nothing like the real beach but…no salt water!), a lazy tube float around a kiddie play area, a heart-stopping ‘V’ slide (not for the faint of heart), and lots of curly tube slides (my favorite!).
Today was our second day of water fun at the park. It is amazing to me that we can spend 6 hours in one place and everyone gets along, has fun, doesn’t get sunburned (!), and I only had to pay once! It is turning out to be a very good investment.
The first day we went was amazing. We just kept going and going and going. I didn’t get tired at all! I did get cold towards the end of the day. Oh, and both my hands were numb and I had a big black bruise on one hand, but other than that it was a perfect day. Today….it was still great, but I started feeling old. I haven’t felt old in a long time. Maybe the ‘age’ was kept away due to the weight I have lost…or my darker hair color….or even the fun younger guy I have been dating….I’m not really sure. But today…I felt old again. Something had changed. I don’t think it was the abundance of young, shapely, underdressed female swimmers….Surprisingly. I think it is because of where I am in life right now. Brad has been gone for over a year and I have been working like CRAZY for this last year trying to make things right. Trying to get my home in order, get my kids adjusted, get myself in dating shape and get my education. Yesterday, sending my girls off to camp after fighting with my oldest daughter, really knocked the wind out of me. I think I finally realized that no matter what I say or do. No matter how many tears I cry. My kids are going to be themselves. I mean, I don’t want them to be anyone else, but darn it…I hate some of the choices they are making. I want to Change them! But, I never will.
I am listening to some Arbinger based books on parenting that were given to me by a great Life Coach, Keri Maughan. She is going to be teaching a class I am taking in June. I have read some of the Arbinger stuff before, especially around the time that Mae went to Aspiro last summer, but I had forgotten. I guess it is something I need to refresh my mind with regularly. Their basic principal is that you can never change anyone. You can only change how you see/deal with them. Just saying that frustrates me, but I know it is true. I have several CDs left to finish, but I am hoping to really be able to make some positive changes in how I treat my kids. I’ve started already.
I think all parents need to take a step back sometimes and listen to themselves and what they say to their kids. I amaze myself sometimes. I know I take my kids for granted. I assume they know I love them. But, I need to say it more. I need to listen to them more. I need to teach them to be self sufficient, responsible individuals that will one day be able to be successful adults. I know they all have the potential, if I don’t screw them up.
So, the tangent is taken from the water park to the empty nest. What is a day if you do not learn something? Whether it be something from a book, from the world, or even something about yourself. I say, a day without learning is a day wasted. Cause I said so.