at it again

not sure why I am writing again, I mean it is after midnight and I am exhausted. I should go to bed. I should clean my room. I should take a hot shower before my nips fall off, frozen. But…here I sit. At my mac, writing. I have been blog/facebook surfing and looking at all the more interesting people out there. I say more interesting, I should say….more in touch with the world people.  I feel like I know almost nothing about what is going on in the world. I try to watch the news in the mornings before the kids get up but….I don’t really like to get up early. Seems like every time I watch the news, something horrid happens anyway. Last time I watched, the haiti earthquake was going on. I almost feel responsible! Maybe if I hadn’t decided to watch, nothing would have happened. Of course, that is crap. Bad things happen all the time. I just don’t love hearing about them. I’d rather hear about all the good things that happen. And the funny things that happen. Brigham Young said that entertainment should be uplifting…there is enough tragedy in people’s lives, why watch more for pleasure? (totally paraphrased of course)  I totally agree with that! I don’t like scarey movies, or movies where children get hurt or are misused in any way, or movies that cause me stress. I like to laugh and be happy and darn it all….happy endings are what it is all about! Why not?! That is one reason I don’t want to go see the new Nickolas Sparks movie Dear John. Yeah, it looks like a nice little love story, but you know…..every one of his books/movies has a sad ending. The notebook….they both die.  Message in a bottle? Yeah, bad ending. I can’t remember all his stuff, but I read  ton of his books before I realized they were depressing me! Who needs that?
Which brings me to my next topic….am I the only one that is totally affected by the books I read? I mean, i can be going along happy as a clam and then become another person! When I step back and look at it rationally…..(yes, I can do that now and then)….I can see a direct corelation between what I am feeling and how I am acting and what I am reading about.  Very interesting….does this mean I am impressionable? Most likely. But, it could be worse. At least I don’t read books about people murdering each other….that could be a bad influence, right? Also a good reason to avoid reading smutty books….don’t want to go there….not in my condition.

I had the most interesting date on Friday night….I just have to share…..I met this very sweet guy on and LDS website and we decided to go dancing. At a ‘club’ in Mesa he knew of. He bought the tickets and we met there. I was almost certain when I got there that the ‘club’ was actually the reception hall that was owned by my semi-ex-boyfriend’s new girlfried. “awkward” was how I was feeling. But, I am nothing if not a good sport. So, I went in. The place was decorated to the hilt. Tables and chairs, balloons, glitter, smoke, dance floor….buffet….. yeah, come to find out, he had purchased tickets to someone’s wedding reception. And not only that, we were probably two out of 8 white people there. I have nothing against Hispanics….unless you count the one that stole my semi-ex-boyfriend away, but….when my date walked me to the smallish dancefloor in the middle of twenty tables filled with Hispanics only…..I was a bit…out of my comfort zone. But hey, we danced. He ‘taught’ me the salsa. Well…he said he did…..I have actually taken salsa lessons before and even tho I don’t remember them, I KNOW there was more to it than that. But, it was okay. We danced, we talked, we sat back down. After talking for another hour or so, looking a the free calendar on the table, watching other people stagger in, and then the dance floor fill up, he asked me if I wanted to dance again. holy heck no! Good sport I may be, but modestly dressed, white, and….non-salsa dancer….there was no way I was going back on that dance floor with a bunch of ‘professional’ salsa dancers with 5 inch heels and 6 inch skirts. So, we left. Parted ways in the parking lot and….I hate to admit it, but I called my sweet friend Mark and we went and played pool til the wee hours of the morning. I always have such a great time with him. If I could modify him just a smidge…I’d marry him. oh well….you can’t change people. This I know. I have tried. I have failed. I will most likely keep trying and failing, but at least I will be going into it knowing and expecting the failure. That makes it all okay, right?

I should say, I have nothing bad to say about my date. He was very sweet, interesting, listened to me when I talked, and was a really nice guy. He is a bit too short for me tho and has never been married or had kids so….I think my life would actually send him into some kind of a shock overload.  I wish him the best of luck in his hunting.

Speaking of which, I am about done with the ‘hunting.’ Seriously….it wears me out. I just don’t have time for it. Too many guys interested in me that have huge issues that I don’t want to deal with. I want Mr. Perfect to come sweep me off my feet. Til then, I will just be mom and student and maybe clean my room. Maybe not, but definitely….go to bed. it is late!

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