Natures bounty!

I went running 2 nights ago………. alone. My friend who usually runs with me I didn’t go with because it was a last minute sort of thing. I told Roger where I would be going so he would know where to look for my dead body if i didn’t show back up in a reasonable amount of time and headed out the door….reasonable amount of time would to Roger mean after he had gone to bed and Quincie woke up cryin in the middle of the night…… Anyhow….. I was running along minding my own business when all of a sudden I have to pee. Having so many babies has not been kind to my bladder first of all and second it has left me a little leaky, something must have not been put back just right after the babies ripping themselves into our world and therefor I have been left a litlle less water proof than I once was. So I am running along thinking I can hold it  until I get back. the in a little bit…3 steps later… I think actually n0, I need to pee right now. I see an empty lot a little bit up ahead and head for it thinking about leak proof tupperwear and matresses with plastic covers. I make it and start working my way back a little bit from the road. As I am 4 wheeling it thru the bush i hesitate because 1 its dark and how far do I really need to be from the road for no one to see me??? and 2 all I need is to get bit on the naked hool-ie by a big fat snake and end up running down the street with my pants down.  I move a bit closer to the road where the light is just enough to see the ground so I can make sure that I am not going to pee on a snake or in a snake hole, wouldn’t that be a good one, miss the snake its self but pee in its hole and what is going to make it madder than pee in its eye…., and it do the leg apart squatter stance. I don’t know about you but its been awhile since I had the pleasure of releaving myself out in nature and having a chance to enjoy all the beauty of the world while I squat and try to make sure that I don’t splatter anything on my shoes or legs. I finish up and hike my pants up to continue on my run….I look up just in time to see a fellow runner dash by just across the street….Lovely, I will probably be on the 6 o’clock news as a flasher, scaring some innocent boy out of his wits by showing him my WHITE rump! Yet another reason to give up exercising all together!And what may I ask is he thinking…..out running late at night alone……totally reckless!

3 thoughts on “Natures bounty!

  1. let’ see if this comment thing works now. I’ve been working on it…..
    Maybe you should sunbathe nude so your hiney doesn’t glow in the dark???

  2. Personally, i love peeing in random places. if boys can do it, so can i! (i’m so proud of you by the way… brings a tear to my eye)

  3. I think you should have noticed the bum lyin gin the bushes a few feet to your rear…he certainly got a show there…I think I did see something on the news about it being a new moon that night…

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