I feel like I have climbed onto a roller coaster that never ends. I keep going round and round and up and down and when I least expect it, I flip upside down, holding onto my stomach and wits with all my might. For the record, I am not fond of roller coasters. Especially ones that go upside down. I don’t mind the tame(lame) ones that go a bit fast and have hills the size of mole hills, but the big crazy ones make me question my mortality and remind me of my latest meal.
I’m not really complaining, except for the twitch I am developing in my left eye I think I am doing fine. The days when I thought I had too much to do in a mere twenty-four hours have turned into days when I simply laugh at the pile of sticky to-do notes littering my computer desk. Close your eyes, spin around, and see where your finger lands. That’s the one that will get done today! It’s almost like a party game….instead of pin the tail on the donkey it is a pick a post it note game.
My daughter says it’s just who I am. I ‘thrive’ on being overworked, underpaid, and out of control busy. I resent/resemble that remark. How dare she. I must admit, when I was a mere teenager, naive to the world and full of unrealistic dreams of grown up reality, I would sit with my planner and fill in every line with anything I could think of so I would ‘look’ busy. For some reason, being ‘busy’ meant success, fame, fortune, and the cutest guy on my arm. Little did I know that being busy was nothing close to glamorous, made me miss those essential gym visits, and kept me too busy for a real relationship.
In spite of all that, I am doing just fine. I called in the secret weapon, aka my dad, and asked for a blessing. It was the first time my son assisted and it was pretty stinking amazing. What a man he has grown into. I am still amazed that this incredibly smart, handsome, and TALL person is my spawn. wow. What was an anxiety attack waiting to spring forth like the dreaded jagular, has been tamed to a calm, controlled, kick butt mood that has rocked the socks off the mound of homework and lesson planning I had to do today. Yes, it is true. I made it through the day with flying colors. I even made it to WalMart, babysat my grandson, ATE, made cookies, and watched Studio C with my kids for home evening. I know, lame, but we spent time together and laughed and read scriptures after. Don’t judge me.
I feel better prepared to meet my new boss tomorrow….to meet my new class, I hope, and to spend some time with my son on the last day before he leaves for Alaska.
Some may say my life is too busy, that I’m a headless chicken, that I’m simply a fireman putting out fires and not living. I beg to differ. I feel my life is truly blessed, full of laughter, love and adventure. I wouldn’t want it any other way……cause I said so.
Photo credit: http://www.fly2hisheart.blogspot.com