Dirty nails

at_the_edge_of_the_world_by_reyed33-d50m4qe

I’ve been thinking about gates lately. Not the kind that swing and creak and squeak in the October night air, more like the figurative gateways in life. Choices we make. What sometimes seems like a quick jaunt down a be-flowered lane, through a white picket gate sometimes ends up leading us off a cliff to our sudden, painful, death.

Gateways are not to be trifled with. My kids hear me say it all the time. Stay away from drugs. Even the simple, seemingly ‘innocent’ drugs like MJ or  cinnamon or even pumpkin pie lotion. You just can’t always tell where these things will lead. They aren’t so bad on their own, but before you know it you are stuck in the middle of a ‘bigger picture’ that is not the one you wanted to buy in the studio. Instead of being kissed by the hot navy guy,  you are standing on a bridge screaming while your face drips off the canvas.

I’m not much of a good example unfortunately. I tend to jump in too fast, get invested too soon, spend too much on a couch I don’t love, or buy clothes that only looked good in the small, dimly lit dressing room. It can be very frustrating. The biggest problem comes when trying to figure out what is real and what is passing fancy. Did I want to go through this gate? Really? Or was I just admiring the flowers and accidentally stepped over the threshold? Did I walk in next to a friend, unknowingly, and find myself in a foreign place when they left?

I’m trying to learn how to chose my gates better. I had hoped my vomit catching therapist would help with that, but she seems to think I am completely sane and mentally together so, she is no help. Plus, she is breaking up with me. Sigh…I tend to suck at all kinds of relationships these days. My BFW tells me I need to slow down and unclutter my life. That sounds nice….but I think I’d get fat if I wasn’t running around all the time. I’m not sure which would be worse….getting fat or being stuck in a foreign garden. Of course, the foreign garden might be full of yummy fruit that I could eat to get fat….I don’t see a winning option here.

Guess I’ll just keep on walking. Talking to gardeners and smelling the flowers. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll find myself in my own garden….and someone will wander in……cause I said so.

 

Photo credit: http://reyed33.deviantart.com/art/At-the-Edge-of-the-World-303363446

4 thoughts on “Dirty nails

  1. Also watch out for the pumpkin fluffy soap. I have all four flavors. I can’t stop smelling my hands.

    My friend, I love your mind and your writing. Everything about you is DeLovely.

    **kisskiss**
    Deb

  2. i’m here from deb’s and i have a strong feeling your sense of wonderous humor will break most of your unplanned falls. i say unplanned because some of those falls you choose yourself, right? :^)

    love
    kj

comments make my heart sing...don't leave me hanging!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s