I’ve read this chapter before.I don’t like the way it plays out. I’d rather read another book with rainbows on the cover. Or maybe a unicorn. Wait, unicorns are jerks. I bought a coloring book that told me so. So, maybe no unicorns. But could I please have a different chapter? The last time I read this one, it hurt too bad. It kept me up all night, crying. I felt the pain as each hair turned grey and curled tightly like a corkscrew going into my head. I still feel the cracks in my heart that haven’t completely healed. It’s too much.
Parenthood. We really didn’t have a clue when we signed up for this how hard it would be, did we? Maybe it was like one of those ‘fun’ 5K events we think we can easily do…it’ll be fun! We’ll train before! But, we don’t. We get there in our snazzy little running suits, with our springy new running shoes and our bottled water strapped to our hip and we naively set off. It doesn’t take long before we are huffing and puffing and wondering what the heck we were thinking when we signed up. “Its for charity”…”we don’t have to win, just finish”…”we don’t ‘have’ to finish”….”we ‘paid’ to do this?” …” Holy crap my shins are screaming….”
It’s horrible and painful and stupid but, most of us finish the event. There are a few that face-plant it in the sidewalk. We walk around those few with reverent pity, blessing every standing scream of pain from our legs….at least we are standing….
The difference between a 5K or marathon or Ironman (all praise Rachel!) is that there comes a time when you actually FINISH one of those. You cross that ‘line’, run through that tape, jump over that other runner…whatever may signify a finish-line. You get there. With parenthood…..not so much. It just goes on and on and on. Hopefully, there comes a day when you can look at your child and say to yourself, wow…I haven’t had to clean up after them in a while. But, other than that….I don’t think there is a finish-line in sight.
Today, tonight, this morning…..I’m not really looking for a finish line, I’m more in the mood for someone to get that fricken ‘detour’ sign off the path my kids are on. I don’t want them taking the detour. I want them to stay on the path and go right where they are supposed to go. It’s a nice path. There aren’t any rabid animals, stickers, slippery inclines, or anything that would trip them up. It would be so much easier if they would avoid that detour.
Unfortunately, some idiot came and bedazzled the sign. It is almost impossible to miss, sparkling and shining and I swear … playing a seductive little tune. Somebody go kick that sign under a shwubbewy or something. Seriously…..I have enough grey hair! Cause I said so.
Photo credit: http://darlandofortune.wordpress.com/tag/direction/