There isn’t much a person can do to make amends when the person they have hurt cannot hear what they say. Heads can be beat against the wall in efforts to communicate, to help, to soften, to clarify…but it all comes to naught when ears cannot hear what they don’t want to hear.
It wasn’t you, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t him, it wasn’t her. Timing is everything. Timing can sweep you off your feet and take you where you didn’t know you wanted to go….and maybe, deep inside, knew you shouldn’t go. Timing can turn your heart cold or fire it up too hot. Timing can form regrets, ruin memories,cloud judgement and close minds.
Sometimes I think my life is on a big clock, just rolling through space. Every now and then my clock rolls over someone else’s clock and our times match up for a minute. But then, the wind changes and we roll apart again. It’s a Salvador Dali kind of life that I see. As much as I may try to huff and puff my rolling clock next to one I think I’d like to roll with, my clock goes where it wants. All I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride and try to keep from melting off the back of some jungle animal.
I don’t have control of the dial or alarm on my clock. I see it ticking by the minutes of my life at times and at other times spinning crazily out of control. When my piano fell on it’s face, my clock stopped for a minute and I watched the slow motion mothers’ curse of what could have happen slink before my mind eyes. It was a surreal moment.
I will run out of time one day. We all will. Hopefully, I will have a moment to look back at the path I have traveled and make some sense of the ticks and tocks I have lived. Hopefully I will see a purpose and realize a dream and make a difference to someone somewhere. Hopefully, my sins will be forgiven, my mistakes erased, my good times remembered and my love cherished.
I’m not perfect, I never have been and probably never will be. I’m just trying to use my time the best I can. Its all any of us can do…cause I said so.
Photo credit: http://www.thinkgreek.com