its personal

horse heads

Some things in life are not how they seem. I’m not talking about mystical magical mumbo jumbo type stuff, I’m talking more about people. Some people make a wonderful first impression. All rosy and cheery and rainbow farting awesomeness….and then they take off their shoes and you die. Other people are complete freaky weirdos that make you want to run into dark alley ways to escape their presence, and yet when you endure a little time with them, they end up being just like you. You never can tell with people, or with bees….

I don’t think it’s possible to really judge a person or truly know them until you have seen them in a crisis. Nothing says, “this is me!” like someone’s world falling apart. What do they do? What do they say? Where do they run? That is when our inner self comes streaking out and bares itself to the world. Its hard to hide behind that sweet Jane Cleaver facade when our walls are crashing down around our pearled necks. Survival instinct kicks in and we either run or fight.

I’d like to think I am a fighter. I tend to put myself into a lot of situations that others might shrink from. I take on a lot in my life….stress myself out…keep myself busy….and avoid sleep most days. Its my survival mode. I’ve been operating in ‘survivor mode 2000’ for about six years now. Give or take a decade. I don’t remember sitting around and just floating through life. I don’t know if  I ever did that. I remember being busy and getting things done and being tired. I remember the joy of a job finished and sometimes even ‘well done.’ I remember running my kids around and being so very happy I HAVE kids and I have a WAY to run them around. Not to mention…GAS in the car.

Some people might look at me and decide right off I am crazy or worse….amazing. I am neither. I am just a mom that has goals, dreams, desires, deadlines, and a very real sense of the fleeting term a lifetime can be. You never know when your time is out and the finals are here and you have to have your crap done and turned in.  I may not get all my assignments done, but I’m darn sure I’m going to get an A in participation…..cause I said so.

Photo Credit: Forgive me internet gods, I have sinned. I saved this picture because it was freakin amazing and I don’t remember where I got it from. Feel free to google ‘images of people with horse heads’….but be warned….google is loaded with pictures of things you don’t want to see….mostly pictures of Justin Bieber.

2 thoughts on “its personal

  1. You are definitely a fighter. I think I am a crumbler. (In crumble mode at the moment.) I admire your spirit and strive to learn life lessons from you. One of the lessons you taught me was that it was way more important to play and have fun with your kids when they are little that to have a perfectly clean house. So wise! The time with kids is so fleeting.

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