tough noogies

man eating books


I’ve never read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”

I never really felt the need because I’ve always known the two sexes are different creatures. Brad and I used to talk about that a lot. People are always pushing for equality between the sexes when, that is like saying apples and oranges are the same thing. Yes, they are both fruit, but they taste different, look different, smell different and you can’t make a pie out of an orange. Men and women are not the same. I think a lot of the time when people say they want ‘equality’ they are saying they want the sexes to be treated exactly the same. I don’t really think that is possible. I wish there was a way to say it so it meant both sexes could be treated ‘fair.’ Maybe that is the word…..I don’t know.

I heard about another book like that when I lived in the South. I never read that book either because I felt like the title said it all. “Men are waffles and women are spaghetti.” It’s so true. Men function in little waffle boxes; when they are at work they work, when they are watching the game they watch the game, when they are mowing the lawn they are mowing. Bada bing bada bam. Women on the other hand, can make dinner, talk on the phone, help with homework, clean the kitchen, plan a menu, file their nails, and play a game of word feud on their iPhone all at the same time. ( I know because that is my daily routine)  Men are all nice and tidy and in their given box, while women are hanging all over their plate like a mess of spaghetti. This totally makes sense to me. In fact, I’m not sure there even is a book with that title. Someone told me about it and it has just taken on a life of it’s own in my head. Talk about a powerful title, Mr. writer of the unread book.

I have a hard time picking out titles for the books I write. I am the type of person that totally judges a book by it’s cover. The title has to catch my attention, not tell me TOO much, and it has to look cool. Being that kind of book snob really puts a lot of pressure on me to make an amazing first impression. In other words, I intend to let my publisher/agent pick the title for my book and I will just reject it until it wows me. Seems only fair, I mean, I had to come up with all the words that go inside the book, they could at least step up for the title.

I’m almost done with my novel. I am in the midst of putting all the chapters together and adding the mortar that goes between them. This is all new to me so I may be making a huge mess.I have to say, it is fun reading what I have written. My stories have taken on a life of their own. It is a bit like visiting old friends. Who knows if my book will go anywhere….who ever really knows. All I know is that when I finish it, I will be able to sit back and say, wow….I did that. If nobody wants to publish it, I will publish it myself, just so I can put it up on my book shelf and say, ‘that’s my book.’ My book will sit between other books and rub covers with them and become something more than I made. Books do that, you know, they grow and share and age together. I’m pretty sure you have to be careful what books you put together, you can’t mix things that don’t get along. That’s why I always keep my books organized in categories. I wouldn’t want a self help book on how to succeed in your business next to a murder mystery….the murderer in the story might become too clever to ever get caught.  You just have to be careful….cause I said so.


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