getting itchy

I have been a stay at home mom for the past 20 or so years. I worked before that, at various small jobs, but once I started having kids I severed all ties to the outside work place and sunk my teeth into mommy hood. I never looked back and I never regretted it.

When my husband died three years ago, I had to do some regrouping. Although I had income from death benefits and the lovely government (sarcasm), I felt like the time had come to think about the possibility that I might have to work outside the home again. ‘Mommy skills’, while being celebrated amongst moms, don’t exactly put one at the top of the hiring list. I decided I needed to go back to school.

Re entering college as an adult can be a bit daunting. I dieted, bought new clothes, and braced myself as I went to my first class. I quickly discovered something I had forgotten. College students have very little sense of ‘age.’ I was easily absorbed into the classes and groups as one of the kids. The professors love us ‘old’ people, we are there because we are serious and want to be there. They tend to take a bit more time with us and give us better grades. At least….that is how it felt to me.

It took me three years to get my AA degree. It would have been quicker if I had not had to take math. I won’t go into the gory details, but take my advice…don’t put it off to the end.

Now I am at another cross roads. I have my degree, I have a job at the school as an aide, and I still those former ’employers’ at home demanding my time. I love my job at the school but I’m itching to be more than and aid. I want to teach. I want to be in the classroom with those kids all day. I wasn’t sure if I would like teaching when I started taking education classes but now I know I will.

Life is a funny thing. It can be going along like a river, cutting through the countryside, seemingly full of direction and purpose, and then suddenly it will take a hike in another direction or split in two. Serendipity steps in and throws our ‘plans’ to the wind.

I am a fan of serendipity. As I talked with my daughter about her disappointment in not making the volley ball team this year, I was reminded of the disappointments I have had, like my husband dying, that have pushed my river of life in different directions. I am grateful to have the perspective to share with her that even though what we want may not work out, there is always something else ‘just around the river bend’ that may be what we wanted more, and we didn’t even know it.

Finding Nemo said it best….”Just keep swimming”….cause I said so.


Photo credit:,r:2,s:0,i:96&tx=111&ty=71

4 thoughts on “getting itchy

  1. I am touched by your emotions and insight. I am excited about your goals to continue your education. You have accomplished so much in your life. Dont ever stop having long and short term goals. When are you starting back?

comments make my heart sing...don't leave me hanging!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s