I did something last night that I haven’t done in a very long time. No, not that…get your mind out of the gutter!  I actually pulled a book off my ample shelves and read. I know, what’s the big deal, right?  It was a big deal.  I have always considered myself a “reader.” Before Brad died, I would find myself reading up to four books at a time. You know, one in the car, one by my bed, one in the lou, and one in my purse. Brad always asked me how I could possibly keep them straight….silly question. Books stand alone. The stories never got jumbled up in my head, they were different.

I haven’t read a book since last fall. It has been a bit weird. The last book I read was The Help….and I loved it. I have a ton of books sitting in piles and on shelves….just waiting for me to crack them open and dive into their realities. I have purposely not been reading so that I could focus on my own writing. I’ve been a bit amazed when I hear/see all the books my author friend Betsy reads. I know she writes for hours every day…and yet she still reads. I just didn’t feel like I could do that.

Yesterday was a bit of a stressful day for a lot of reasons. At the end of the day, I decided it was time to break my reading fast and grabbed the first book I had access to. I took it and climbed in a bubble bath. I didn’t really know what to expect with this book, but it was pretty good. In fact, it was extremely creative! The book is called Chasing the Moon….don’t have the author handy, but they seem to have a very twisted sense of reality. I’m not really sure where the book is going but I enjoyed what I read.

I am always worried that I will be influenced by what I read and it will change my story. I am also afraid of stealing anyone else’s ideas. My son would argue that you can’t ‘own’ an idea….intellectual property and all that…but I would know. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone stealing MY stories or ideas. That brings up the irritation and worry I have with the publisher I met with a few weeks ago. I left a chapter with her….just to get some feedback, and she has never once called or returned any of my messages. It makes me wonder…was it so bad that she cannot speak to me without involuntarily vomiting on the phone and is there for avoiding me for her own preservation? Or did she love it so much she has spent every waking moment since, writing the rest of the book and it is at this moment at printing? Or, is it that she lost it in the piles of crap on her table and is too embarassed to let me know? She seemed like a nice person, but in this instance….absence is not making the heart grow fonder. It is making the heart have small panic attacks and have desires to drive my car through her front window. That being said, I will try to call her once again today. If there is no response….I know where she lives…..cause I said so….

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