Rejection is a funny thing. Your heart breaks. Your faith shatters, but yet you still feel the deep yearning, even hunger for the one that rejected you. Being told you are not wanted doesn’t change what you want. The heart knows what it wants. It feels the throb of loss but takes it and turns it into more hunger for what is lost.
Why? What if? Maybe….
If I had done more, held tighter, let loose, been better…We always need an explanation. We need to know why. Why we weren’t good enough. Why someone else was better. The little voice whispering in the back of our minds, telling us to cut our losses and run, run far away from the pain…gets drowned out by the endless questions. We have to know why. So we hover, we ask. We prod. We beg. Beg for explanations. For clarification. Even though we know it will hurt more. It will rip our hearts apart so far that only a thread of possible hope will tether the pieces together. Only then, when we are lying on the floor with nothing left. Nothing to hope for. Self-image destroyed. The cold water of reality running through our veins in place of the warm blood of love. Then, we can struggle to our feet. Pick up the tattered pieces of our heart, and move on to another place, another love, another chance to do it all again. And why would we do it again? Why would we take a chance that our heart will be destroyed again? Because the possibility of love, even if it is only for a while, a short interlude, is the reason for being. The reason we breathe in and out, the reason we get up each morning. It is what we look for , what we need, what gives our life the spark to go on. To be better. To live.
Love may be all we need, but we all need love. Cause I said so.