yes, it’s true. I am amazed. Not that it is hard, really, to amaze me. I am amazed every day that I make it through the day without pulling all my hair out or crashing into a pole. Miracles I tell you!
But today, I am amazed at something else. I am amazed at a person… make that all people. People amaze me. I have once again seen how totally impossible it is to really know someone. How crazy it is to try and judge someone when you meet them. People are usually not at all what they seem.
I remember when I lived in California, several long years ago. I met a woman we will call ‘jaquanda’ (why not?) anyway, the first time I met this person, I could not stand her. I remember thinking to myself, I could never be friends with her. Pretty harsh judgement you might say….yes it was. She just rubbed me the wrong way right off. Because we went to the same church, we ended up being thrown together for several different reasons. What I found out, after a bit of time, was that this person was really wonderful! She was talented, fun, and incredibly creative! She was great. We didn’t become the bestest of friends, but we were good friends and I am glad I took the time to get to know her. This isn’t the only time this has happened. It has happened many many times. It’s almost become a joke….when I meet someone that rubs me the wrong way, I just assume we will be great friends. Weird but true.
I just finished a fantastic storytelling class at my little community college. I absolutely loved every minute of this class. I discovered that I not only have a great love of writing and reading, I also really enjoy telling stories! I got to take the class with my mom and that just made it even better! I thought our class was full of really normal, capable, good people. Some of them were a bit nutty, but they were great! There were a few of them that really struck me as ‘with it, got it together, strong, people’. Women actually. One in particular was one of those ‘rub me the wrong way’ people that I had to avoid for a while til I got used to.
Here comes the amazed part. Two of the women in my class revealed secrets about themselves during the last few weeks of school. I never in a million years would have suspected they had lived the lives they shared. I am just blown away by their hardships, choices, and past experiences. I can hardy believe they are true. It made me look at them both with even more respect than I had before. I also made me realize that I don’t really know anyone! And I am sure no one really knows me. How can they? It takes a whole lot of time and energy to get to know a person. Not just seeing what you want to see, but seeing their soul.
I have always felt like I could see past the outer appearance of people and see their soul. I don’t know if that is really as true as I once thought it was. I do believe I am a very open minded person and that I have a great love for people. I don’t tend to judge people harshly and I give everyone a chance to show me who they are. At least I try. I know we are all here for a reason and people come into our lives for a reason as well. All I can do is keep my eyes open and try to find the right path that has been laid out for me.
I am so grateful for the people that have given me a chance and have tried to get to know the real me. Sometimes I wonder if I even know the real me. I seem to be so very different than I was just a few years ago. My life has been thrown up in the air and scattered back down. Sometimes I miss the person I remember being. I miss the things I used to do and the people I used to know. I miss having someone to blame when things were not just how I wanted them to be. but then I think about all the freedom I have and all the blessings I have been given lately. I look at my beautiful children and my incredible life and all the wonderful opportunities I have right now and I realize I don’t miss that old me too very much because she is still in there….still watching my back and keeping me grounded with her reminders of days gone by.
It’s not so bad to change. It keeps like interesting and moving forward, hopefully. I figure I am on about my sixth version of myself…..I’ll hopefully have many more to come. I will try to greet each new me with an open mind and a willingness to get to know me cuz, really, I’ll probably end up being my best friend. Cause I said so.