I’ve never been to Boston in the fall. I’ve never actually been to Boston. I like to think that I’ve seen something similar though. There is a street in Madison, Alabama that dips and then climbs. If you look from the top, in October, down the dip and backup, you can see an incredible array of fall leaves. It is breathtaking to this Arizona desert rat. For those of you that don’t know, we don’t really have seasons here in the Phoenix area. We are hot and then we are cool. Some leaves fall, but I think they are just confused as it doesn’t really get cold enough.

Despite the weather’s lack of conformity to the rest of the world’s seasonal pattern, we still have ‘changes’ throughout the year. One of those is obvious in our stores and shops. Back to school may happen in August, but the sales start in June. Halloween may be in October, but you can get supplies in August. Christmas may be in December, but if you go to Hobby Lobby, you can feel the spirit in September.

The biggest indicator of faux seasonal changes comes with the arrival of Pumpkin time. I remember having a deep love of all things pumpkin in my former life. Back then, I must have been before my time because it was a rare gem if I could find something Pumpkin scented. I had a bottle of pumpkin shampoo that I hoarded for two years, only bringing it out during the ‘season’ to enjoy. As a side note, you may have heard that the smell of pumpkin has a certain effect on people. I have lots of kids. I endorse this message.

Pumpkin was my happy place. I could take a deep breath and feel energized, invigorated, peaceful, and even creative. I absolutely loved it! But, life has a way of ruining shiny things.

A couple of years ago, I was assaulted by an alien pod that flew into my face in the 1st-grade hallway. I remember distinctly feeling myself ‘catch a bug’ in my nose. I immediately started feeling ‘sick’. Something just wasn’t right. By the end of the day, my face had a bump on it …. like one of those rouge pimples that is so deep you think it is attached to your cheekbone. I ‘worked’ on it, but it just got worse. I went to Urgent Care and they said to leave it alone. “Don’t put pressure on it or it could go into your brain….”?

I missed a  whole week of school for this alien inhabitation. I feel I’ve told this story before, so I’ll skip to the relevant parts.

I had to wash my hands a LOT during this week. I had pumpkin spice hand soap. (dramatic pause)

The scent that had once filled me with all sort of warm fuzziness, now makes me nauseous and, at times, run to look at my face to make sure the alien is really gone. (remember Alien?)

So, now when I walk through the store and see all the cute Fall/Halloween decorations, I have a hard time not running away in fear. It seems very unfair to me. I really want to go back to the warm pumpkin pie of the past. I want to pile my life high with whipped cream. I want to relish in the foamy goodness of that amazing shampoo that I admit I hid from everyone, including my husband.

Alas, time goes on. We live and learn and leave some things behind. Like it or not. Maybe, the answer isn’t pie after all. Cause I said so.