mind games


It had to happen one day. I think it happens to everyone, or it will. I thought I was still too young for it, I hoped I was still too young, but I’ve run out of time.
I’ve lost my mind.
It happened somewhere towards the end of last week. I can’t pin point the exact moment, but the clues are all there.
It might be due to all the new information I have been attempting to stuff into my brain lately. I honestly feel like one of those soft sided suitcases that you jump up and down on, sit on, have your friend lay on, and grunt openly while you stuff that last pair of pants from the Gap into. The zipper is holding on by it’s teeth as you cautiously roll it over to the security line, hoping a praying they don’t choose your bag to ‘randomly search’ because you are sure you will be arrested for attempting to bring an explosive device on an aircraft. Yeah, that’s my brain.
Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t have a zipper, so it’s more like stuffing marshmallows into your mouth. You may get a lot in, but eventually you are going to gag and they will all come shooting out across the table. Mind blown.
In the interest of educating my readers, I will tell you the symptoms, so you will know what to watch for.
The first symptom was made evident Saturday night while I sat listening(seat dancing) to Rick Springfield in concert. The man looks AH-mazing for 64, Seriously?? He may even look better now than 20 years ago. There you go, first sign of dementia. I was sitting, listening, letting my mind numb with the beat, when I suddenly remembered having the revelation of a lifetime just the day before. I had been at a writer’s conference and the speaker had shared some thing that had caused me to write down the best ideas and plot builders ever. I had been so excited, I could still remember the words I had written. They were going to spur the best book yet! Except….it never happened. I had slept in til 10:30 or so, and had dreamed it all. It was so real in my mind, I was panicked when I realized the careful notes I had taken, were still on that pad of paper in my dream.
The second symptom came last night as I went to Groupon to check the times for the awesome event I had bought tickets for this week. I had scored 6 tickets to be in the audience at The Voice. I was totally stoked, and wanted to make sure I had the times right and location and all that business. I looked on Groupon…..no evidence of me having purchased said tickets. I did a search of Groupon…no evidence of there ever having been tickets to the event. This one I knew happened because I had called my sister about it last week. Unless, I dreamed that call….My mind was seriously starting to trip at this point. Was I really so sleep deprived that I was living a second life whenever I finally hit the pillow? Possibly great book fodder, but rather anxiety induced thoughts.
There had to be payment proof if I had actually purchased something, right?? I checked my Paypal account. Nothing. Panic rising. I went straight to my bank account. Rather large purchase amount to Groupon….could it be??? I called the number.
The sweet girl on the other end told me she could see the vouchers on her end….why couldn’t I see them? Was I still sleeping?
Apparently, there is a difference in some websites depending on how you view them. My ‘smart phone’ isn’t so smart. It can’t see Groupon vouchers that ‘aren’t available until July 23rd.” Holy crap. I could see them when I looked on my laptop.
I know it may seem like a little thing, losing your mind, but I’ve grown rather fond of mine. I mean, in my squishy little mind, I understand most everything, and all my jokes are funny. I really need to hold onto it…..cause I said so.

Photo credit: http://www.crystalskins.co.uk btw, please don’t google monkey brains…it’s not pretty…..

3 thoughts on “mind games

  1. Hang in there! To begin with, you had more brain than many, so you’re still on top, and…well, the best thing about loosing your mind is that you have more fun, and you forget that you forgot something…this leaves you open for much more excitement!

  2. Lol I sometimes have moments when I wonder if certain memories are real, or whether they’re just memories of dreams… Hope you’ve had some luck finding your mind again!

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