I can’t believe the summer is almost over. How did that happen? It just started….oh yeah, I did school and camp. Sigh. I need another month or so to actually feel like I had a break. I guess this is what it feels like to be an adult. Kind of sucks.

I did go to a fun movie today with two of my favorite male minions. The Lone Ranger….it was pretty good. I wonder if they wrote the entire thing with Johnny Depp in mind for Tonto. Seriously, if it had not been for him and his amazing antics it would have been…dumb. Or even gross. As it was, his little looks and funny sayings made the cannibalistic, murderous, immoral under themes seem rather tame. Left to their own devices it would have been too much for my delicate constitution.

I used to be a lot more careful when taking my kids to the movies. I would always preview them first. I didn’t want them seeing blood and guts or private parts. I’ve slacked off a bit, I realized today during the movie. I turned to look at #6 and realized he is 12. Sigh. He is still my baby, but….not so much a baby any more. He is still innocent, more innocent than most 12 year olds, but he is growing up whether I like it or not. He has big brothers that play video games I never would have allowed a few years ago. Time, single parenting, and a busy life have let things morph into an alternate universe where I sometimes feel I am just a visitor.

This is not my life. This is not my house. These are not my problems. I never signed up for this. But, then I think…yeah I did. I can’t hide from it.

I wondered about lives and plans and surprises the other day when I drove past a prosthetic ‘shop.’ Does anyone ever expect to lose a limb? I realized that none of us really know where our life is headed. I mean, we set our goals, we make our choices, but…ultimately, we go where we are pushed and prodded and dumped. No matter what we may ‘plan’, there is already a ‘plan’ for us. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in free will and agency and all that, but…I also believe that things happen for a reason. It’s one of those paradoxical things that makes my head hurt. Like spinning around trying to see what is on the back of my shirt…or chasing my tail.

So, does it really matter what we do? If there is a plan for us….why even bother, right? Wrong. It matters very much. The reason I think it matters is in our attitude. Regardless of our plan or path or whatever, if we look at everything like we are a victim and ‘wo is us’ then our life will stink. It’s much better to look at things from a higher perspective. I’m going to start today, looking at things from the perspective of supreme overlord. If things aren’t going my way, I will simply call for a redo or for someone to lose their head. I won’t actually cut anyone’s head off, but…just saying it…might make people treat me with more respect. OR, they might reward me with a nice white jacket that has sleeves that tie in the back….cause I said so.

Photo credit: http://www.businessinsider.com/big-budget-westerns-dont-bring-in-money-at-theaters-2013-7