I lived in Colorado for nine months in 1994. It was an experimental phase for our family. What that translates to is…”Needed a job and took the only one we could find even tho it meant moving from Az to Co for an indefinite time.” Brad took a job as a Math/Science teacher in a tiny little town in souther Colorado. Believe it or not, even though we were in Colorado…we were still in the desert. Desert Snow is a funny thing….cold, but still dry and miserable.

I have lots of fond and not fond memories of Colorado. One of the most interesting to me is a time my father in law took us out to dinner at a little dinner in the town over from us. (there were no diners in our town….I really meant tiny). We only had two kids at the time so we took them everywhere we went.  We were sitting in the small, casual restaurant and Mae was walking around checking stuff out. She was not getting into trouble or touching anything or being any sort of a bother to anyone.  I thought it was cute and had no problem with it. I was surprised when a woman at a table near ours made a comment about how children should never be allowed out in public.  The even more surprising thing was the reaction I felt myself have to her comment.

I describe it as a white light. I felt an almost uncontrollable urge to take the woman and beat the …”poop” out of her. I couldn’t see straight and the blood was surging through my body. I remember my father in law taking me by the arm and walking me outside into the cold winter air. He had to physically hold on to me to keep me from going after the rude woman. I had never felt that kind of feeling before.

I know I am not alone in this experience. It is something that happens to a person when they become a parent. Maybe even more so to mothers. I’m just guessing, but I think that is probably true. You can mess with me, but don’t mess with my kids. When someone messes with our kids, the inner tiger comes roaring out. It is a dangerous time.

I think part of my problem at the time was that I was pregnant with my third child. The only thing more dangerous than messing with a woman’s child is to mess with a pregnant woman’s child. I pity the fool…

That being said, I should know better than to mess with anybody else’s kid, right? Wrong. I found myself messing with someone’s kid just today. This particular kid is actually a nephew of mine so, I kind of felt like I had the right to be in his face a bit. I saw the reaction of mom out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored it. I’m glad to report that mom did not rip my throat out, but I’m sure it was only because we are related.

It’s hard, for me, to be around family still. Even though we have been back in the land of our inheritance for almost three years now, I still feel like the outsider a lot. There is a lot of history that happened without me here. All the of time I was gone, I was making my own history but….my partner in crime is not here to remind me of it. It sucks that I have such a bad memory at times. I can’t rely on Brad to remember stuff for me anymore. Writing on my blog does help me remember stuff so….that is a good thing.  I wonder at times if my family sees me as an outsider as well. Maybe that is why ‘mom’ had such a reaction to me telling her son it was not okay to walk around pinching his nipples in people’s faces. I don’t know. All I know is I’m a dork and need to keep my mouth shut, just like I’d like others to keep their mouths shut about my kids. Well, unless they are doing something dangerous or hurtful to others. Or, if they are doing something really funny that I can get a video of and send in to American’s Funniest Home Videos. I mean, I could use some prize money…..cause I said so.

I realized today that I haven’t been giving credit for the photos I’ve been using. I am kind of a copyright snob, so I apologize! Today’s photo is from google, credit to mgleason.mystudentsite.net  I will put the photo credit at the bottom from now on.