I was such a dork in high school. It’s true. I didn’t dress cool, I was painfully shy, I was funny looking, and well…that was enough to make me a dork. I had a few friends and got along with everyone, but I was definitely a dork. I was in orchestra and honor choir and even had a boyfriend for most of high school but….still a dork. I don’t know if I realized I was a dork at the time but looking back now it is painfully obvious. Maybe that is why I avoid thinking about high school whenever possible…could be.

When I tell people I was a dorky shy person in high school, they don’t believe me. I’m not sure why that is but I prefer to take it as a compliment. I prefer to think that I have grown and matured into someone a lot less dorky and shy. I have certainly been able to work out of the shy thing. Dorky is harder…..seeing as I have no sense of style whatsoever. Unless you call only wearing black a style, in which case…I rock it.

I was reminded of the truthfulness of my statements about dorkiness in high school a week ago at a party. I went to a couple’s “battle of the sexes” game night with Brian at a mutual friend’s girlfriends house. (mouthful) It was fun. I didn’t really know anybody there except for Brian and our mutual friend, but I’m pretty good at making friends these days so I wasn’t worried. We gathered with everyone and mingled and snacked for a while before starting the game. At one point, one of the girls that I did not know, looked at me and said, “You’re Beckie Laux, right”…..It really caught me off guard because nobody calls me by my maiden name. Ever. I said that yes I was…and that was it. I was intrigued.

I had to ask, “Do I know you?”

“Oh yeah, we went to high school together.”  A quick answer with no explanation. What the heck?

I asked a few more questions, to all of which I was given short answers. It was weird. I totally felt like I was once again, the dork in the room that every body knew but didn’t actually want to talk to.  But the biggest question in my mind was….How did they recognize me?? I mean, I was really hoping I looked nothing like my old high school persona. I really hoped I had grown into something a bit better that would never be recognized by anyone from my former dork life. I was a bit crushed.

Now, if the girls at the party had said anything good like…”i remember you, you were so cool!” Or…ANYTHING at all, it might have been different. It was just weird and made me feel a bit weird. But oh well, I lived. I mean..seriously…high school was only actually three years for me. It is amazing to me how some people let those few years totally dictate and shape the whole rest of their lives. It was a blink!

I bring up my dork days of high school because of my younger daughter today. She amazes me. She is friends with everyone, without being a popular snob. She gets along with boys and girls alike and is just super fun to be with. She doesn’t have friends over…..almost ever….so, when she asked if she could throw a Valentine party this week, I said sure. Some people, in my position of having a stiff leg and a stinking cold, would have said no way. But I know Sarah and how she does parties. I basically have to open the door and she does the rest. She probably had 15-20 people over today for 5-8 hours. (One girl waited for her ride til 1am!!) She had her friends bring snacks to share, I bought a few pizzas, and they just entertained themselves. It was effortless. The kids were good, polite, and nice to each other.

When I was her age, I never would have attempted to have a party like that. I would have over thought it to death and then aborted the whole idea. I also don’t think my parents would have let me have a big party at our house. I am not sure about that but….it wasn’t our style.  I love having my kids friends over. I pretty much hang in the back ground….in case someone gets their leg broken or something, and let them do their thing. It was super easy and everyone seemed to have a good time.

I wish I had been a little more like my daughter when I was her age. Who knows where my life would have led had I grown some balls before I was 30. As it was, I waited until I was married and had kids to decide that maybe I had something worth while to say. Sometimes it is good that our kids don’t turn out like us. Sometimes they are way better on their own,making their own way, forging their own paths. Sometimes, I learn more from watching them than I think they will learn from watching me. That’s the beauty of a family…we all can learn and grow from each other….cause I said so.