It is interesting to me that even though I have taught different grades the last three years, there is a common theme in all of the curricula. We are stressing the importance of identity and the dangers of isolation. I have to pause and think about that for a moment now and then. I don’t remember much about my high school days. Just bits and pieces really…

Mr. Peresian had a haircut that made the back of his head look like a nicely toasted bun

My math teacher had chalk on his pants every day from putting it in his pocket.

I was in Earth Science when I learned about the Challenger Disaster.

Guys who have safety pins through their cheeks can scream really loud.

A cafeteria milkshake can live in an Arizona locker for 5 months without molding.

Cheer and Pom teams are political organizations.

Watching Rear Window 5 times was how my teacher taught the dangers of isolation.

Yep, it was there then, just as it is now. I’m not showing my kids Read Window…I may still have PTSD from that, but we are still talking about the importance of being a part of society in a healthy way. Why is this something we have to teach at school? You might think that just being at school with other people your age would teach you this through what you see and do every day.

Alas, you would be wrong. It is sad to see those kids who, despite being in a gaggle of kids every second of the day, except possibly in the bathroom, are still completely isolated. Many, by their own choice. Earpods, phones, hoodies, and even books give them something to hide behind, making them invisible. Why?

I wish I could say that “when I was in high school…” I was outgoing, reckless, brave, and involved in everything, but I was not. I was better in high school than in junior high, but I kind of wanted to blend into the background, too. I always knew I was hysterically funny and would be the life of the party, but what if I said something really stupid? How would I ever survive? I would most likely combust instantly or….not. And, of course, that is the fear. How do you deal with the consequences of your actions, words, ugly clothes, pimples, or bodily functions? It can be a LOT.

I try to make my students feel at ease with me. I’m not perfect, and I show it every day. I’m not cool… even though I did have a student I didn’t know come up to me, look over my outfit, and ask if I was trying to bring back my style from high school. I laughed and assured them I never had style, and I just wore what I wanted. I couldn’t tell if I defeated their efforts to dis me or bewildered them. It didn’t matter. I’ve arrived at the point where I don’t care much about stuff like that.

That is the trick thought, don’t you think? Getting kids to care about themselves enough to take good care of themselves, but not care SO much about themselves that they are afraid of ever looking less than perfect, cool, normal, trendy, etc., or they look down upon everyone else and become a total jerk. Life is a great balancing act in five hundred different ways all at once, and the only gauge we have to monitor our progress is our ever-changing hormones and stomach growls.

In one of my classes we were asked to write a characterization of ourselves as the protagonist in our own story, from an outside perspective. I love writing prompts like this that let me step outside myself and think in a different way. This is probably why I’m changing my major from rhetoric…But I digress. Here is what I came up with:

If I were not the main character in a story based on my life, I would describe my character arc as a jagged traverse through a misty landscape, one marked by uncertainty and encounters with questionable guides along the way. Raised in a culture that emphasized doing the right thing, this character developed a strong moral compass, but also a tendency to be judgmental towards those who didn’t share the same beliefs. At the beginning, she was a naively hopeful dreamer who jumped into life with both feet and eyes half-open, believing at the start that life was not fair but doable and destined to ‘work out’. 

As the journey progressed, that belief was tested through profound challenges, including experiences of both life and death in varying degrees, which helped shape the main character. Her greatest strength—an unwavering belief in her ability to accomplish anything she put her mind to—also became her greatest flaw, leading her to take on way too much and to be reluctant to ask for assistance. The defining challenge in her arc emerged from the loss of a husband and the responsibility of raising seven children, who insist on making their own choices despite her efforts. As she navigates this terrain, she is constantly forced to reflect and realign her goals to fit the ever-changing needs of her family, resulting not only in an arc of transformation but also in ongoing negotiation between agency and responsibility.

This may not seem to tie into my initial delve into the dangers of isolation, but it certainly addresses identity. I will look back on this in a few years and most likely wonder who this person is. I find that if I am anything, I am not stagnant. Ever changing with the winds and wilds of the world in mostly wondrous ways is what I hope my life is.

Cause I said so.