Random acts

I love doing unexpected things.  Giving unexpected gifts is my favorite. When I lived far from family, I would send ‘prizes’ in the mail now and then to let them know I was thinking about them. I don’t do it as much anymore….for a lot of reasons.

It isn’t as much fun buying unexpected things for my kids, they don’t seem to appreciate things very much and….they have everything they need and mostly want. At least the things I can afford. I’m sure if I unexpectedly put in a pool while they were at school they would be a tad excited….for a few days.

People don’t surprise me much. Maybe it’s because I don’t show excitement enough. I learned a long time ago that getting excited about something usually meant it wasn’t going to happen. Maybe that is why I have made some regrettable choices lately. I’ve trained myself so well to not get excited that when I’m not, it isn’t a warning sign. Oh well, life goes on.

Sometimes people do unexpected things that aren’t fun or exciting. I read somewhere….probably on Crackbook,  that someone saw a man cross the street to the medium to pull a Romney sign out of its frame so he could crumple it up and throw it in the trash. I’m all for not litering but, seriously? Free speech my man, free speech.  Another incident, one that really blew my mind happened to my daughter’s friend last week. She and her mom and sisters were all standing by the side of the road in front of their house waiting for the school bus. A car came tearing around the corner and hit a dog right in front of them. The car pushed the poor dog past two houses before it came to a stop. Then the car backed up and went around the dog and on to its destination. The poor girls were all in shock and started crying. The dogs’ owners came running out, obviously upset. The man that owned the dog carefully carried it home where they attempted to assess his condition.

This was a horrible thing, but it gets worse. Before the dog could be fully checked out or even taken to the vet, the driver of the car returned to the scene and demands insurance information from the dogs owners. Apparently, when they hit the dog it caused some damage to their car. They had a $250 deductible and wanted some cash.

“Dramatic pause”

Does this seem downright  wrong to anyone else out there? I was just….amazed when I heard this story. I can’t imagine the nerve of someone to not only hit a dog and ‘run’, but then to return and blame the dog’s family. Hello, the driver was speeding and not looking and, well, heck! Accidents happen! Makes me want to smack someone.

The really sad part of all this is, the driver had a case. If they had taken this ‘case’ to a judge, most likely the dog’s family would have to pay because their dog was out.  It really makes me think. Back when I got my new car in ’09, I hadn’t had the car a month before I backed over a shopping cart and marked up the back. I guess I should have sued the grocery store for my ‘braille driving’ and had them fix my car. Who’s the idiot here? I’m not really sure…..cause I said so.

Photo  credit: http://www.wormsandgermsblog.com/uploads/image/Dog%20shopping%20cart.jpg

dusty bottoms

Cats are picky. You know I’m right. There is a huge difference between dogs and cats. Dogs will eat anything that they can get into their mouth except broccoli and pickled jalepenos (yes, I’ve tried), and cats will turn up their nose if their turkey isn’t deboned. When I was a fairly new wife, I made a turkey for dinner. I’d helped my mom make lots of turkeys over the years and I had even made a few since getting married. This turkey was different though. I decided to cook it without any stuffing. I didn’t realize that a turkey will cook a lot faster with a cavernous empty void in it instead of three pounds of cubed bread and celery and a stick of butter. I put the turkey in the oven and timed it to be done when we got home from church. Oh, it was done alright. If you have never had turkey jerky….don’t try it at home. The meat was so dry and tough we could not eat it. I put it out for the cat thinking, surely the cat will be excited to eat a whole turkey himself. He (Hobbs) was not impressed, and ended up literally turning up his nose and walking away in disgust. I was a bit shocked, but learned a valuable lesson. Cats are not dogs. Cats actually have standards.

My dog is pretty amazing. She is the best dog I have ever had (as an adult) and I am constantly being threatened by friends and strangers alike, that she is going to be stolen. I didn’t want a dog, but got her for my husband for his 40th birthday. All he wanted was a dog……(insert puss in boots face here) so that is what I got him. She was not the first dog I picked out, but she made it pretty clear she was the one for us. She has been really great. I don’t think I will ever get another dog after her. My odds are against me. I think I’ve had seven dogs….and only one has been a good fit.

Like any dog, Fantine will eat anything (except the above mentioned items) and not bother to taste them on the way down. It was great at first…having a sweet, soft, self powered vaccuum cleaner for the kitchen floor. Lately it seems I can’t leave as many ‘tidbits’ around for her. Whenever she eats anything that is not her ‘dog food’ she ends up throwing up or making a mess from the other end…and usually on the carpet or couch. It is really sad. I can’t even give her a bone from dinner. She will be sick from it.  How sad would it be to never get to eat anything different, your whole life? What if you only got to eat green bean casserole for every meal, every day, forever? My sister makes a pretty fantastic green bean casserole, but darn it…..I’d even get sick of that if it was all I got to eat forever.

I feel bad for Fanny, and some times I break down and give in to those big pleading eyes and give her a snack….but I always regret it. She will always leave me a little thank you present during the night. Sometimes, getting a thank you isn’t the best etiquette…..cause I said so.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+of+a+dog+and+his+bowl&start=183&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=jH0&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=932&addh=104&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=4sFyTyZKBMuzDM:&imgrefurl=http://www.aplacetolovedogs.com/2011/02/jack-swanson-in-a-bowl/1486610667/&docid=5FDq3jNq6dnVPM&imgurl=http://www.aplacetolovedogs.com/wp-content/uploads/jack-swanson-in-a-bowl.jpg&w=500&h=359&ei=21C3T7qaKqKOigKN-cHqBg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1616&vpy=458&dur=2129&hovh=190&hovw=265&tx=190&ty=83&sig=113984122180083014531&page=4&tbnh=139&tbnw=187&ndsp=59&ved=1t:429,r:39,s:183,i:87

snickerdoodle

I had a good friend named Katie when I lived in Florida. She lived in my neighborhood and we would go for walks sometimes. She had a golden retriever named “Mr. Holbert” that was basically my dogs boyfriend. Whenever we would get the two of them together it turned into a major make out session. I don’t think they realized how inappropriate it was but, we would all laugh and blush a bit when they would go at it. If you have never seen dogs French kiss…you are really missing out.

Fantine (my dog) would get excited whenever I would ask her if she wanted to go visit Mr Holbert. She totally recognized his name. I remember one time, when we took her over to his house to swim. We had never taken Fantine swimming before, but…seriously…what dog doesn’t love to swim? All of the dogs I’ve ever had have loved to jump in the water and ‘doggy paddle’ for hours. Even Barney, the dog I had as a child that didn’t know how to swim, turned into a regular water dog after a bit of coaxing.  When we got to the pool, Fantine hung back a bit. I figured she was playing hard to get and being lady like and all that so, I helped her out. We grabbed her and threw her into the pool. Did you know that dogs can totally give you a dirty look? Indeed. If the look Fantine gave was judged on a scale from 1 – 10…one being slightly perturbed and 10 being daggers to your heart, her look would have been an 11….meaning she would like to pee in my cereal while chewing my favorite shoes to oblivion. She was NOT happy.

Although we tried at other times to interest Fantine in the cool joys of swimming, we have yet to be successful. She is NOT a water dog. That being said, she is really great at bath time. She will stand very still and let us do it. Its surprising actually.

One of the reasons I got Fantine in the first place was to be a protector for me when I went walking/running/biking with Katie. Now, if you knew Katie at all, this might surprise you. Katie is a tough gal. She was in the military for years and frankly, could kick any normal guys butt. I figured walking around the neighborhood with this gal would be not only fun, but safe. She ‘had my back’…..or so I thought. One day we were out walking at either dusk or early ‘before light of day’ and we had a huge dog (small dust mop) run out at us and attempt to defend it’s property. This is the part where Katie would be my body guard…. But instead of that, she grabbed my arm and hid behind me. It was a bit funny and not a bit disturbing….to have my protector being protected by my scrawny arm. We laughed about that a lot and I got Fantine to be my protector.

The first time I took Fantine out for a walk….we didn’t get far.Every time we would hear a dog bark, baby cry, old person breathe…she would cower behind, and under, my legs like a total baby! The idea of running with her was quickly put to rest due to the fact that she runs like a drunken sailor, weaving all over the road, distracted by any and all scents.  I gave up on Fantine being of any use on outings other than muscle building to which ever hand held her leash. She can be taught and is pretty good at heeling….and I have amazing arms….

I admit to mocking Fantine openly about her scaredy ways. It is true that she is very protective of my youngest, and always has been. She would stand over him when he played on the floor….just to protect him from being squashed we assumed. Other than that, we consider her a big baby.

I was out walking with Sarah the other evening when I decided to stop thinking of Fantine as such a baby. We were having a nice brisk walk when all of a sudden something moved in the corner of my sight and I almost jumped into Sarah’s arms. Granted, I was closer to the ‘action’ and could possibly have shrugged it off as jumping ‘in front of her to protect her’ but…we both know I got startled and jumped almost out of my skin. In my defense, we live in the desert and there are all kinds of undesirable critters out there roaming around in the half light. The sad thing is that it was only a small desert rabbit. Or what we lovingly call a ‘bunny.’ (said in the voice of ScoobyDoo)

So, now I’m the big baby. Its okay tho, really. Maybe that is why I have all these really tall kids. They were sent to protect me from all the big bad wolves and…killer bunnies. Cause I said so…..

Photo credit: http://bunniez.hubpages.com/hub/When-Bunnies-Attack-What-To-Do-When-Your-Rabbit-Bites

u knead me

I love my kittens…they make me happy. I think if I was to choose to be an animal, I would want to be a cat. Think about it, people go out of there way to tell you how pretty you are, pet you, play with you, pet you, …yeah, basically having someone wanting to play with my hair all the time sounds like heaven.

My cats are the visiting dignitaries whenever they walk in a room. The kids adore them and give them lots of love. I am a bit jealous…I have been known to pay my kids to play with my hair….don’t judge me, I’m a mom.

It has been sad lately, we lost the alpha cat a few weeks ago. Bart was the biggest,boldest, droolingest cat out of our three. He ruled the roost from a tall cat tower in the corner of the living room. He was the first to want to venture outside into the wild. They were never meant to be outdoor cats, the HOA frowns upon that, but the week before Thanksgiving it just happened. I was cooking and cleaning and moving through the house at a fast pace. The cats decided it would be a good time to play leg maze with my legs. In order to protect them from my wrath, the backdoor opened and they went out. I think we are all happier with their little jaunts outside now and then. Except for Bart wandering off, it has been fine.

I saw a picture of an elephant in a movie the other day. It looked like the elephant was crying, but the movie said that animals don’t cry. I beg to differ. My first example would be my dog. If she is not in the room Brian is in when he is over, she is crying. There have been times when it went beyond crying to down right wailing. True, I did not see any actual tears, but I still consider it crying. (It was pathetic)  My cats have also cried. They are way too classy to moan or wail, but they did shed tears. It was heartbreaking. For days after Bart went missing, Carter would have tears around his eyes. He would come a sit on my lap and just cry. It broke my heart. Ally just sits by the back door, looking out and waiting. She has also had some moisture around her eyes. I don’t care what anybody says, my cats cried when their brother left home.

It just goes to show that animals have a lot more to them than we think. I mean, they are are obviously smart….they have the whole petting thing down to an absolute science. They have all their needs taken care of without having to life a finger, or paw. They get bathed whenever they need it. Could life get any better? It kind of sounds like my kids at times tho…makes me wonder. Should I start giving my pets chores? Or should I tag and collar my kids and make them sleep in the bathroom? I’m just saying…….cause I said so.

 

Udderly rediculous

 

 

I never get sick. I honestly don’t have time to be sick. I am a busy, single mom of six with a lot to do. My family has never been the kind that has lots of sickness. I would have to say that Brad had more sick days in a year than the rest of us all added up together total. That includes me having babies! We just don’t get sick.

I don’t think it is because we do anything special. I don’t feed my kids all organic fiber filled hippie grains and fruit. (That would be nice) We don’t excercise regularly (I used to…). We eat the occasional candy bar, bowl of ice cream, and corn dog. (Not all at the same time) I have tried to feed my family healthy food and avoid the preservative filled crap that is so readily available at the store and fast food restaurant. We don’t always take our vitamins either. Frankly, it is like trying to feed my kids, Ben especially, a medium dose of poison to get them to take a vitamin.

I think the reason my kids (and myself) are rarely sick is simply because the Lord knew I could not handle having sickness around all the time. I have had several friends over the years that have had sick kids. They spent day after day in the doctor’s office and trapped at home with sickness. I don’t know if it is a lack of compassion (my therapist says NO) or if it is just the absolute need to get things DONE, but I don’t handle sickness very well. Especially since Brad died, I have not been the person to go to when sick. It kind of freaks me out a bit.

All that being said, the last few days I have been sick as a dog. (Not sure where that saying came from…) My head hurts, my nose runs, my ears ring, my body aches, and I cough and cough. It is a royal pain in …..well, the whole dang body!  I am not a happy camper. But I have to admit…at the same time, it isn’t that bad. I still have my darn knee in a brace with doctor’s order NOT to bend, so, being sick is actually helping me do just that. I’m spending the majority of my days lying in bed writing, or lying on the couch watching How I Met Your Mother. (Guilty pleasure!) It has been a bit of a blessing in disguise. Being this sick makes me have little to no desire to go or do anything. That is just what the doctor told me to do for my leg.

My kids have also been stepping up quite a bit while am less mobile. I “can” go up the stairs, but I tell them I shouldn’t so they take care of things up there. They are also doing much better at dishes and general picking up while I’m hurt. It’s been kind of nice.

Tonight, we read scriptures downstairs in the family room so I could keep my leg up. Benny missed out because he finally got in the shower. When he got out, I sat with him and read a chapter out of the illustrated Book of Mormon story book. He has become quite a good reader! After he and I read, he got up and looked at me with a little “tilted head look” and said, “Mom, under Fantine it looks like she has udders. Does that mean I can milk her?”

Fantine is our dog. Our girl dog that has been fixed. I explained to Ben that he could not actually milk Fantine and it was not only because she had had all her girlie parts removed, but also because she was a dog and we really only milk cows. He then asked, with a worried face, “Do tarantulas have udders?”  I had to stifle my combination laugh and shudder. He had seen a big spider at the park earlier and was still a bit tramatized. I explained that spiders do not actually have udders and the only ‘milk’ we could get from them would be from their poisonous pinchers. Like a snakes teeth.  As creepy as it ended up, the question and conversation was pretty cute over all.

I love how not only are my kids healthy, they are also very smart and inquisitive. They are not afraid to ask questions about just about anything. I don’t always have the answers, but when I do, it makes me feel smart. WhenI don’t, it makes me appreciate the internet even more.  Cause I said so.

 

**As a side note, when I went to look for a picture to put on the top of the post, I momentary lost all brain function and typed in “Sick Spiders.”  Take my advice and NEVER do that!!! I may never fall asleep tonight. I hate spiders…even typing out the letters in the word freaks me out a bit. And there I was, looking at tons of pictures of the sick little demons. yikers! sick sick sick!!! shudder. I decided to just put a pretty, innocent picture of flowers on here instead. SO, carry on. Cause I said so.

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